Reflections on Mommyhood

My son is getting so big.  Today he is 7 months old.  He has grown so fast and is no longer just being kept alive by the milk I provide for him.  I'll be honest...I just don't know how I feel about all these constant changes.  When something grows inside of you for 9-10 months, there is such a strong connection.  Then, I was lucky enough to have an amazing labor and delivery and when I saw my son for the first time, I was instantly bonded.  As my son becomes more mobile, I see that even now he is less and less dependent on me.  He is only 7 months old and I already feel like things are flying by so fast that I am missing things.  That may be because I have gone back to work.  I love my job and feel it is important as I am helping to shape our country’s youth in the public education system, but being at work means my son is in the care of someone else.  This makes me uncomfortable at times because I have trust issues and seriously, how can I ever know what all he is doing during the day?  What am I missing?

Plus now that I have a new role in life, I am trying to redefine who I am.  Before baby, I was just a girl.  In a span of a few short years, I became a wife and a mother.  How do these new roles change what I do, what I care about, and my overall priorities?  I used to be a well-rounded individual with knowledge of current events and injustices across the world.  Now, I don't have a clue what is going on because I listen to baby Beethoven and a variety of other kids CD's in the car instead of NPR like the pre-baby days.  I was passionate about my career and was going to change the world.  Now I am consumed with caring for my son in the moment or preparing everything that is needed for the next day and am lucky to know if something happens down the street!  This new world of mommyhood is really something!  I am excited to figure out what all I will learn/experience.

I thank the Lord I am not alone on my journey in parenthood.  My husband is AMAZING!  My son adores him and they play together all the time.  My husband cooks, does laundry, cleans, makes me laugh, asks if I need help with anything, and is always there to lend a helping hand.  I constantly say to myself and out loud that I don't know how single parents do it!!! 

I seek companionship with other mothers who love their children and need to talk about their journeys as parents.  And always: I would enjoy anything that would make me laugh!

Beth

On Love and Friendship

These are the two main topics God has been speaking to me about for many months; encouraging me, convicting me, moving me, surprising me.  These are the focus of my spiritual life right now. 

Have you ever read a verse over and over and over but never really read it?  I love John Chapter 15.  It’s so full of encouragement and direction.  It’s so gently and beautifully worded.  This is the way I picture our Lord, eloquent, gentle and most of all, loving.  I have read verse 13 many times:  “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”  I never thought about it.  Not once.  To me it was straightforward and not really applicable to me, unless I were to be put in a position where I needed to take a bullet for someone I loved.  Or something to that effect.  I always though it odd that this action would earn the title of ‘greatest love.’  It seemed so…automatic.  Of course I would rather die than see my children, husband, friends, etc. die.  But then God let me really read it on a day when I was very down, very discouraged, very lamenting over my inexhaustible responsibilities and demands. And on this day I read it for the first time.  It actually says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man give his life in service of others.”  This whole other world of understanding was opened to me.  I realized that this verse was not about dying in place of your friends.  It was about living for those you love.  I lay down my life when I get up to sooth a crying child at night, when I change diapers and kiss boo-boos.  I lay down my life when I listen to a friend talk about her day instead of tackling my mile-long to do list.  I lay down my life when I take time out of my day to prepare a meal for another family who is welcoming a new addition or experiencing a hardship.  I do this endlessly throughout the day, every day.  It’s what I’m called to in my vocation as a mother, wife, friend and child of God. 

And these are the types of people you should surround yourself with.  Those that will lay down their lives for you.  Not because you’ve earned it, not because you deserve it and usually, not because you asked for it.  It is simply because they love you.  And they want to share their love and God’s love and grace with you.  “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.” (Jn Ch 15; v9)  We can love each other in this way because God has first loved us.  This love is pure, beautiful.  It is a gift.  We need to be choosing our friends based on this ‘true love.’  These are the people who will breath life into us and lift us up, keep us going.  These are the people who will help better our relationships and bring us closer to God.  These are the people who will lead us down the right paths and help us learn to serve others better.  For my part, I consider myself blessed that God has given me several of these friends, through a group of amazing, wonderful women and an extraordinary priest. 

            “A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter: he that has found one has found a treasure.  There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend, and no scales can measure his excellence.  A faithful friend is an elixir of life; and those who fear the Lord will find him.  Whoever fears the Lord directs his friendship aright, for as his is, so is his neighbor also.” Sirach Ch. 6 vs. 14-17.

God is directing me towards loving those most important to me in a better, purer, more God-like manner.  It IS NOT easy.  At all.  There are days when I really, really, really don’t care for it.  I want to be selfish, efficient and well-rested.  But there are more important things in this life, and as long as we keep our eyes on that, our hearts will follow.  And to all my ‘Sirach friends,’ THANK YOU, I love you and if there is anything I can do for you, please call.  :)

Elizabeth

I'm a mom. And I've discovered there are only two places a mom can really think. Number One: in the shower. Number Two: in the car. This is assuming the mom is alone in both locations. Because being a mom means that no place is one's own. Not even the shower. Small fists bang on bathroom doors, 8 year olds waltz in to demand "Where's my library book?" and "I can't find my shoes!" followed by "Yes, I looked!" Bathroom time is the place to learn about your child's latest LEGO creation and to discover which level of Wii Bowling he has just completed. And if you're as fortunate as me (and you have only one bathroom in the house)...well let's just say, my bathroom can be a very SHARED space!

But sometimes, even a mom finds a moment to shower in peace. And T-H-I-N-K. This post revolves around an idea I had several months ago while doing just that. I had been thinking about how I had neglected my blog. My poor, sad, 3-entry blog that I started approximately 2 years ago. What a terrible blogger I am!  I was considering the reasons why. I was busy. I was pregnant. I was nauseous. I was tired. And then: I was busy. I had a newborn. I had a 19 month old. I had a 7 year old. I was tired. Also I felt self-important sharing my concerns about my eldest son's journey with CF and about life in general to whomever chose to read my crazy ramblings. Who wants to hear me complain?

I could think of a lot of reasons NOT to blog. And then an idea popped into my sudsy, wet head.

What if I created a "sister blog" to Finding Hope where I shared whatever funny, sad, inspiring, depressing moment I experienced as a mom that day AND invited other moms to participate. So it wasn't just me complaining...I mean sharing (!). Together with my friends, we could create this lovely shared space (kinda like the bathroom--Ha!) in which we divulge the moments that make up our days.

I knew this idea was probably not unique. I had to convince myself NOT to search for other mommy moment blogs out there. Because if I thought it had already been done, I'd be less likely to do it.

So here goes. I invite you, reader, to send me whatever mom(me) moment you'd like to share--and to do so on as (ir)regular a basis as you'd like. No pressure. It does not need to be perfect. I'll post it.

Being a mom is hard work. And sometimes, like my poor neglected blog, we moms neglect the very important ME in MOMMY. So my friends, let's do a little something for ourselves. Let's remember that even in our toughest moments, we are never alone.

I'm ready to learn, laugh, and cry with you all!

Thanks for reading,

Andi