On Love and Friendship

These are the two main topics God has been speaking to me about for many months; encouraging me, convicting me, moving me, surprising me.  These are the focus of my spiritual life right now. 

Have you ever read a verse over and over and over but never really read it?  I love John Chapter 15.  It’s so full of encouragement and direction.  It’s so gently and beautifully worded.  This is the way I picture our Lord, eloquent, gentle and most of all, loving.  I have read verse 13 many times:  “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”  I never thought about it.  Not once.  To me it was straightforward and not really applicable to me, unless I were to be put in a position where I needed to take a bullet for someone I loved.  Or something to that effect.  I always though it odd that this action would earn the title of ‘greatest love.’  It seemed so…automatic.  Of course I would rather die than see my children, husband, friends, etc. die.  But then God let me really read it on a day when I was very down, very discouraged, very lamenting over my inexhaustible responsibilities and demands. And on this day I read it for the first time.  It actually says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man give his life in service of others.”  This whole other world of understanding was opened to me.  I realized that this verse was not about dying in place of your friends.  It was about living for those you love.  I lay down my life when I get up to sooth a crying child at night, when I change diapers and kiss boo-boos.  I lay down my life when I listen to a friend talk about her day instead of tackling my mile-long to do list.  I lay down my life when I take time out of my day to prepare a meal for another family who is welcoming a new addition or experiencing a hardship.  I do this endlessly throughout the day, every day.  It’s what I’m called to in my vocation as a mother, wife, friend and child of God. 

And these are the types of people you should surround yourself with.  Those that will lay down their lives for you.  Not because you’ve earned it, not because you deserve it and usually, not because you asked for it.  It is simply because they love you.  And they want to share their love and God’s love and grace with you.  “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love.” (Jn Ch 15; v9)  We can love each other in this way because God has first loved us.  This love is pure, beautiful.  It is a gift.  We need to be choosing our friends based on this ‘true love.’  These are the people who will breath life into us and lift us up, keep us going.  These are the people who will help better our relationships and bring us closer to God.  These are the people who will lead us down the right paths and help us learn to serve others better.  For my part, I consider myself blessed that God has given me several of these friends, through a group of amazing, wonderful women and an extraordinary priest. 

            “A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter: he that has found one has found a treasure.  There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend, and no scales can measure his excellence.  A faithful friend is an elixir of life; and those who fear the Lord will find him.  Whoever fears the Lord directs his friendship aright, for as his is, so is his neighbor also.” Sirach Ch. 6 vs. 14-17.

God is directing me towards loving those most important to me in a better, purer, more God-like manner.  It IS NOT easy.  At all.  There are days when I really, really, really don’t care for it.  I want to be selfish, efficient and well-rested.  But there are more important things in this life, and as long as we keep our eyes on that, our hearts will follow.  And to all my ‘Sirach friends,’ THANK YOU, I love you and if there is anything I can do for you, please call.  :)

Elizabeth